All Hat, No Cattle

All Hat, No Cattle

1985 Pontiac Firebird

Drag racing is a very specialized form of motorsports. Theoretically, the car should be built to hustle down the strip as quickly as possible – eliminating excess weight is often a good way to increase speed.

The builder of this car, nominally built for drag racing, has chosen another path. If one supercharger is good, one supercharger and the hollowed-out guts of a second supercharger must be better – because it raises the intake higher than the roof, we suppose. Many legendary drag racers have Chrysler-based Hemi engines, so let’s fit Hemi-looking valve covers to the 400ci Pontiac V8 to fool absolutely no one. Install a nitrous-injection system–but don’t plumb it to the engine – just install a purge valve so you can look cool by spritzing the atmosphere with laughing gas. Add some weight to the rear with a big stereo amplifier–but don’t hook it up, because you’re getting interference from the alternator.

Oh, and that roll cage you need to survive the accident you’re sure to have? Cut out the door tubes so it’s easier to get in the seat, and cut out the forward mounts that should brace against the floor. Be sure to paint it white so it looks like Schedule 40 PVC pipe, too.

At least the custom paint looks decent – it’s the automotive embodiment of the ‘Murica F*** Yeah hashtag.

It’s on eBay in Pennsylvania with, shocker, reserve not yet met.

1985 Pontiac Firebird interior 1985 Pontiac Firebird engine 1985 Pontiac Firebird white profile

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